...Mufti Maybe, Featuring Guest Columnist Raat Ki Rani
The mystery is that Muslim guys, and we are talking about Pakistanis, end up with Hindu Indian Girls in college. Muslim girls get shafted, ignored, and feel second class. This is worsened because after Pakistani boys have had their fun with the Indian girls, only then do they come to the Muslim girls, and only for marriage.
There seem to be simple reasons why this phenomenon takes place. After consulting with guest columnist, Miss Raat Ki, who has observed and studied this phenomenon in many of her Hindu circles, in addition to dating two Muslim boys. I am ready to identify and lay this open.
There are a few reasons why Indian girls go after Pakistani men and get them. First reason that Hindu girls go towards Muslim guys, she told me, is because Muslim guys are intelligent. You see that sisters? We are intelligent! We are not the big dumb oafs you make us out to be. We are neither morons, nor weird. In-Tel-Eggent! That's right. Indian girls seem to recognize this quality in us.
Secondly, Miss Raat Ki explains, and I quote, "Muslim guys just have great appearance." Yes, that's right. I suppose it is our height, our fine Punjabi features, and our big, long...eyelashes. Muslim Girls, on the other hand, don't appreciate our skinny physiques. They go for the Clooney's and the Brad Pitts. If not that, they are all about Omar Epps and that Boris guy who's half German and half-black. I am not even going to mention those sisters who love the sissy-ish Mr. Timberlake. Well, sisters, you know what? Go ahead, hate the Muslim Male, all we have to do is give ourselves up to these Indian girls who've recognized our handsomeyness.
Thirdly, Miss Raat Ki explained, Muslim guys have values. Our venerable sisters seem to think that we are "lafungas" (loafing fools) and "creeps." Trust me, I have seen my friends call this often. College is a difficult time for Muslim men. We have family pressure, peer pressure, academic pressure. We don't need Muslim sisters telling us how unworthy our value system and our code of ethics is. But no, any chance they get, they remind us that we are not living up to our potential, that we have no values, that we are some sort of criminals living a crooked life. "Muslims girls should see that these guys have a code of honor and a value system that is deeply ingrained. Its lightyears ahead of other men. I don't know why anyone would want anything but a Muslim guy" said Miss Raat Ki.
The major reason, she explained, that Indian girls are successful in "nabbing" a Muslim throughout the duration of college has nothing to do with the Muslim men. It has to do with Indian Men. "They just suck. They are ugly. They are dumb. They drink instead of talking to us. They aren't independent. I attribute that to the fact that Pakistanis were ready to partition the Sub-Continent, but Indians weren't. Anyway, Indian men are also are easily confused." The inadequacy of the Indian man seems to play a role in the attractions Indian girls feel towards Muslims at college.
Another reason that Indian girls are able to get Muslim guys is that Muslim girls themselves reject Muslim guys pretty early on. Not only that, Muslim girls make their contempt for their co-religious opposites very clear in MSA meetings. "Muslim girls seem to think that their newly found collegiate freedom would come to an end if they ended up with a Muslim guy. They think that they won't be able to have fun with a Muslim guy and are better off by themselves. Well hey, that's fine with me, because us Indian girls get to have the fun and we get to do it with a hot attractive smart man. In fact, I want to encourage Muslim girls to be more rude to Muslim guys. It makes our lives better."
First of all, I want to thank Miss Raat Ki Rani for her assidous and precise commentary. Secondly, I hope that Muslim girls have taken the lessons from this article to heart. And if they haven't, and insist on staying the same, well so be it. For handsome, intelligent, moral men like us, there seem to be at least half a billion alternatives.
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