Sisterhood Collective (And the Phantom Menace)
Editor's Note: This is the second part of the investigation on the various groups that comprise some MSA's. Not all MSA's fit this example. In fact, we are now being told that some MSA's are perfect little utopias without any problems whatsoever! Fine then. These articles, then, are for those who are still living in reality.
In my previous investigation I identified the various male power-brokers in an MSA and how their actions make an impact on relationships. In this article I move onto the Sisters and try to identify where power rests amongst the Sisters. Of course all this is based on some generalizations! I do not have the space to undertake a proper empirical study. Even if I did, trust me, you do not have the attention span to read it. You want it quick and fast. That's how I bring it.
The method of the investigation is the same. Except that the hierarchy of Sisters, instead of a ladder like the Brothers, is like a Pyramid with a wide base and very narrow top. Let's then, begin at the bottom.
The Herd
Like Soccer Moms and Cows they excel at the Stampede. The stampede is not physical – I am not making a crack about their weights. In fact, it is The Herd in which most of your pretty future wives are located. No, the stampede is usually a stampede of the intellect. When one of them is convinced of something and decides to do something, so do the rest. A more sympathetic person would call this "social solidarity." I am not one such person. Let me make my contempt well-known towards the herd. I don't like those who blindly follow. To me they, by being easily swayed, are the center of many societal, and MSA problems. Not only that, but their stampede is short, and marked by running around in circles. In the end, despite all its noise and kicking up of dust it accomplishes nothing.
Allow me to illustrate. A brother sends a message to the MSA listserv saying that he is displeased with the "morality" of the sisters because their presence distracts the brothers from praying. Now, The Herd, rightly, will get mad over this. Its first impulse is to send in a flurry of messages to that listserv saying how wrong that brother is. Once a large number of the sisters have sent that message in – without bothering to read each other's messages – they will discover that they all quoted the exact same (one) hadith about respecting Women that they learned in Sunday school. The Stampede accomplished nothing. Just kicked up a lot of dust. Instead of actively targetting that brother who would dare suggest that women are temptresses, The Herd will probably help him get re-elected to a higher post in the MSA.
The Herd, in matters of the heart, is similarly constituted. Someone from the Herd falls for a guy quickly and often. She looks first, to looks. Evaluates his morals and knowledge without herself knowing very much about religion and is won over even more quickly, by promises of marriages. She should learn to analyze. Learn to think on her own. Stop believing that all the girls around her who are screaming "Yes He's a Great Guy!" know what they are talking about. A special case amongst The Herd is the female version of the Desperado. As a freshman she is overly pleasing to the brothers. As an upperclassman, easily roused to a relationship. She will go through at least one broken engagement. Why? Because she listened too fast to all what her peers were saying.
Regardless, The Herd is always, except in those wack MSA's which ban sisters altogether, the most powerful voting bloc. All potential Board candidates have to get The Herd's approval. It's not really all that hard because the Stampede guarantees that to win them all you only have to win one. But, to win, their approval has to be had. Thusly, they are a power-broker. Really though, don't hate the herd, hate the system. Its not their fault that they were raised to think like ditzes. Deep down, the Herd not only possesses talent, but also beauty and genius. It just has to be tapped and expressed. And it would be, I think, if some sisters would gain some individuality. Stop believing those people that say that a girl must act dumb to be girly.
The Phantom Menace
Levinas, a philosopher, showed that large groups often erect an "Autre" (French for "Other") in the social imaginaire. In other words, large groups are always hatin on somebody. And if they don't have someone to hate on, they make the menace up. Kinda like how Bush is making up a War against Iraq. Kinda like how Clinton made up a War in Kosovo.
The Phantom Menace is the Other to the Herd. It is the group of those sisters who are hated and despised. The evils of the MSA are allotted to them. They steal all the good guys. They corrupt all the youth. The Phantom Menace serves to take the blame when the Herd doesn't know who to blame. Most of the time, just like the threat of Iraq, the Phantom Menace doesn't really, like, exist.
How, then, can I say that it is a power-broker? Simple: Are people fearful of imaginary and fake things? Are you, for example, scared of the worldwide Zionist lobby? Yes? Well then, the Herd is scared of the Phantom Menace in much the same way. Sometimes things that don't exist are powerful because they are imagined to be powerful.
Reformed
2 years in the Clubs. 2 years in the "Chador" (A long shawl-like version of the hijab). One Reason: No, not Allah…rather, Boy. She usually ends up with the reformed-desperado from amongst the brothers who, by virtue of his incompetence, willingly takes on the challenge of her Islamic reformation. Because she's born-again she's very involved in the MSA and thus, has quite a bit of power.
The Lesbian
These are rare. They are never lesbians. They like guys. Sadly, the state of the Brothers is that they are intimidated and oh so quickly emasculated by a girl who uses big words. The problem is exacerbated by the fact that this girl is usually socially awkward except in "smart" settings. Sometimes she just chooses not to act very appealing towards Brothers. Plus, her uses of words like "the phallocentric project", "Psycho-social culture", and "discourse" makes Brothers less likely to think of her as a ditzy little girl. So they think that she must be a lesbian and not like boys because the "real" kind of girl is dumber than them.
The Herd helps in the destruction of her reputation. She ceases being a single-girl who also needs a husband, but becomes, a lesbian who loves girl (or is at best asexual) because members of the Herd are quick to believe a bunch of Brothers instead of making up their own minds. Now this sister will never find a man. Way to go Herd.
But regardless, this is that sister who will get the 4.0 and go onto Harvard and leave all of us behind. She has knowledge. Plus the lack of interest the brothers show to her only makes her more focused on MSA initiatives and social betterment. This means that she knows what's up. And people who know things are always powerful.
The Godmother
This is that strong-willed sister. She is a good mix of woman, sexuality, beauty, cheer, powerhouse, and feminity. She takes care even of the rudest brothers. She advises even the most obtuse and abject of the members of The Herd. She is present everywhere, nice and cheerful. Because she's strong in herself and does not need anyone, she is powerful.
We repay her with our apathy and disinterest. She is good MSA President material but will not get elected so because she's a girl and doesn't wear hijab. Her lack of hijab, her unabashed openness and welcoming causes others to think that either she is a flirt, or immodest, or both. A great injustice is done to her in this manner. Her goodness is recast into evil. She's maligned instead of celebrated.
But really, the loss is not hers. Likely a brother from somewhere else will find her. And since she's pretty much as good as it gets when it comes to a woman, that brother's life will be a happy one. The Brothers in her MSA that disreputed her will be beating their heads in a few years time when they grow up. They will realize how great she was. Similarly, the members of Herd who thought she was so immodest and "immoral" will soon discover that the Godmother usually ends up with a great catch – usually a King or a Prince from another MSA. Her life will be happy and fulfilling. Don't expect an invitation to her wedding. If anything, its not too late to befriend her, and learn from her the passion for life and love that oozes from her.
al-Lat
The Goddess. Her legs incite polytheism. Her beauty inspires Shirk. If found, she'd induce worship amongst us men. In her all the contradictions of life are solved. She's stylish, hijab-wearing (or not wearing depending on the fantasizer), very-Muslim, intelligent, and a Victoria's Secret Model. She is also largely a construction of the brothers who, despite what the Quran says, are foolish enough to believe she exists. Sometimes, the legend of al-Lat is spread by insecure sisters who like to incite curiosity amidst the Brothers by suggesting that there's a goddess amidst them. In either case a lot of lying is taking place to validate her existence. She's the girl every girl wants to be and every brother wants to have. Because she is always on everyone's mind, she's omnipresent, and it makes me place her at the top of the pyramid. Regardless, the mystique al-Lat gathers, despite the fact that she doesn't exist. It is unfortunate that the sister's pyramid does not close at the Godmother. Instead, it places an ideal at the top that does not exist.
Well, that's about it. Maybe you've seem some of the symptoms and characters I've identified. I know that if you look carefully enough you certainly will. There's a lot of absurdity taking place and very little politics -- unless its inadvertant. At the end of the day, we're still going to turn to our MSA, no matter who is in it, or what they are doing, because only the MSA provides us the social grouping most of us lacked while growing up. It is for this reason that I do not want this essay to be considered an attack on the institution, but a light-hearted examination of something very familiar to us. Its kinda like our family. Tolstoy said that there is no family that is not dysfunctional. We all know that dysfunctionality is not an argument against the family. So with the MSA.
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...Mufti Maybe