"Wahabi Hijabi"

Q: Dear Madame W:

I recently started wearing hijab. Many guys used to describe me as "hot" and I kind of liked that. But ever since I've been wearing hijab I get a lot less attention because some of the kind of guys who liked me before don't like girls who wear hijab. What will happen if my type of guys keep ignoring me? I don't want to end up marrying a molvi with a 5 inch beard. Help!

signed

Not a Wahabi Hijabi

Dear one,

I'm going to go ahead and assume you understand the reasoning behind hijab, so I won't bother and lecture you about how your concern over looking "hot" in hijab contradicts the whole idea of the hijab. I will assume you know all this. Right? Good. Now these guys that you "like", what do you know about them? Aren't you just judging them by their appearance? How can you expect them not to do the same with you. What would a beard tell you about anyone... nothing. So perhaps you should look deeper before you ask that of others.

The world has this funny way of working. Every half has another. So my advice for you is to stop worrying about it. It's just one of those things. Worry or not - whatever is written for you in the book of life is going to happen. Spend this time instead focusing on yourself. These years of singledom are a blessing. Marriage is a different kind of blessing. Cherish each phase of your life. Only then will you be ready for the next phase. Regret isn't a good thing. Besides, you have to know yourself before you try and understand someone else. Love and understand your self, from your nails to your heart. And then like the flake that falls from the sky and lands gently on the bed of snow, so too will your soul mate come and know exactly where to go.

Madame W.

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