"Oral Sex"

Q: Salam 'alaykum, Imam. Me and my wife have been married many years, but despite that, she has never agreed to giving oral sex. She thinks it is makruh [Editor's note: "Makruh," in Islamic law, is disliked, but still legally permissible. Like divorce]. I have tried to convince her, without being too much of a pain, but I think it backfired. Now, she won't have any kind of sex with me. This is horrible. I feel like an Islamic priest. What do I do?

Wa 'alaykum salam. Firstly, I would like to begin by the saying that you know I used to think of myself as the liberated imam, I was always considering myself capable of handling these types of the questions. But now you are asking me and I am finding myself much disgusted, really. Two times I have tried to do the namaz [prayers], but I find harder it is now to do the concentrating. May Allah forgive you, brother, for making me feel nauseated.

Firstly, in Islam, marriage is for the love and the family, but also for the sex. Your wife cannot turn you away like this, it is totally haram. There is the issue of her feelings, but then you know, who cares? She also has to know there is man's need for sex. In Islam, woman and man when married are like garments. The Qur'an says that the man can go to the woman however he wants to, however, he cannot go in through the backside. This is rather strange also, and also disgusting, much like your question. However, the oral sex is not forbidden in Islam. But if your wife is not coming around to this position (I am making what they call "the pun"), then what can you do?

But there are bigger problems here really. Firstly, the woman also has the sex drive. She is having the organs, also, and having the needs. So if your wife is turning you away from all the sexing things, then there is more bigger the problem.

1) She is seeing another man, in which case I am thinking really the problem is you are impotent, and not wanting to admit this. Perhaps you should be considering Catholicism in fact for the truth. We do not need the fake Muslims, you know.

2) She is the lesbian and attracted to the other women. Because she is looking for sex elsewhere and not with you the her husband, so there must be some other thing she is doing, and this could be with the women. Now, my brother, this presents great dilemma. However, I am thinking you find her girlfriend, then marry her also, then let your wife and your other of the wifes have their special relationship. This is not being the substitute for the oral sex, but it is also sufficient to keep your special needs meeted.

Now, brother, I am hoping you understand. We need you to stay the active in the special sense, because many of the Muslims are often being killed. Soon Amrika will also bomb the Iraq and kill more hundred thousand lakh people. So we need more of the babies to replace them. Also, our great enemies, the India and the China, they are having so many people, even though they are all looking I think the same.

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