"Newlywed Anxiety"

Q: Dear Imam Saab. I have big problem now. Soon, the medical and computer science combined joint degree program will be over, and inshallah ta'ala, I will be married within Mr. Musharraf Saab's captainship. My family will find me the good girl, but how do I treat her? I want to be good Muslim, but now, these women have all these ideas. They think they can go walk around and have the jobs and not stay at home, but I do not want them to become like evil women like the women from Shaytan-e Bozorg Amrika. What do I do?.

Since you are sounding like Pakistani from Pakistan, I will begin with long and unnecessary du'a in Arabic..

Inna al-hamdulillah, nahmaduhu wa nasta'inuhu, wa nastaghfiruh, wa na'oodhubillah min shuroori anfusina, wa min say'aati 'amalina, wa man yahdihillahu fama mudhillalla, wa man yudhlil fala hadiyala. Ameen..

Obviously, you are idiot. The woman is like the soda. If you let her show her packaging, everybody will want a drink. Instead, Islam says, keep the packaging, but also, keep it only for the husband. So you should tell your wife that you are like refridgerator, and you keep her cold, so that her fizz does not go out. Inside the refridgerator, she can show all her packaging, but not outside. Otherwise she will become attractive but then she will become evil, like all the Coke and the Pepsi bottles that Amrika sells to us to buy weapons and guns and bombs for the Israel. Because Amrika knows the secret: You cannot drink one bottle. May Allah bless you my brother and give you even four bottles..

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