In Defense of Love

...Mufti Maybe

The orthodoxy has an aversion to Love. It thinks Love before marriage induces sin between two people. Thus, those that stand on the pulpit warn against Love by degrading it and calling it Lust. In their fear of this thing called Love they redescribe it to make it something hideous and malignant. They make it into a thing that serves the flesh. They take away Love's spirituality. In short, their fear of Love leads them to ask the rest of us to fear it. Generally, we come to believe them -- become convinced that there is no Love, only Lust -- and that it leads to hell, we give up our belief in Love, too.

Then there is the minority; they are those who'd die for Love, who are in love with Love. At first, they do not listen to the cynics and the sadists who would like to convince them that there is no soulmate. The consider it blasphemy to oppose the notion that Love exists. Their first failure at Love is shrugged away. They say, "perhaps what we thought was Love was not Love but only Infatuation; soon, Love will envelope us again!" Each time this occurs – and know that it occurs often – they become more desperate and more eager. They become so pitiful that in having already bowed to the idol of Love they also come to bow to anyone else who may promise them love. The lay-person calls this not having a self-esteem. Eventually, however, with their repeated failures, they too become like the majority. They also give up their belief in Love. They are far worse in their hatred of Love because they have been hurt by it. They degrade Love. They desecrate it's beauty. They denigrate Love as much as they once cherished it. Their vengeance makes them even stronger opponents of Love. They go so far as to use abuse Islamic conceptions of marriages and historical references to somehow prove that Love does not exist. They hurt Love more than those that merely confuse Love with Lust.

These are strange times. It appears that on whichever side you are, eventually you will reach a point where your Religion, your ideologies, your Belief System, your Reason, will be used to justify some sort of attack on Love.

My friends and enemies, permit me a defense of Love. Those that hate Love misunderstand some simple principles about Love. In that no one has any idea what Love is, it has become an abstraction, and plenty of injustices are committed in the wake of abstractions. This is why I speak to try to find the limits of Love. Love is not about unity with another. Love is not about consummation with another. Love is not about the mating of souls and the matching of hearts. Unfortunately we have been misled by a history of desperate and misguided men, priests mostly, to believe that Love is something that takes places between two people because they wanted to exalt the self-sacrifice of Christ. Precisely because the orthodoxy believes them and thinks that Love is between two people can it so easily confuse Love with Lust. Precisely because the resentful minority believes that Love is between two people can it so easily turn against Love when they do not find a soul-mate. What connects two people are Respect, Friendship, Reliance, Need, Want, Security, Comfort, Honor, Passion. These are things which can be bartered. Upon these things a relationship can be based. If you want to be angry about relationships be angry with these things. Be not angry with Love because it is not the material for relationships. Love is not an item up for trade! It is not capital one invests. It is the foundation upon which our being rests. Love seeks you and no other. When it is turned in another's direction it becomes less than complete because it has turned away from you. Why should you give to another something incomplete?

If Love is the loftiest of emotions, then let it be that which is the least demanding of all the emotions. Let it be simple! Love is the feeling of not "owing" anything to another. For an eternity the Sun has shone upon the Earth. Never has it said, "You Owe Me!" Look what happens with a Love like that – it lights up the whole sky!

Love cannot be Lust because it is not for another. Love cannot be resented because it is never given. Love cannot be lost because it is never entrusted. Love begins and ends at the walls of your own spirit. It is the highest emotion because it belongs wholly to you.

My brothers and sisters, give relationships to each other and let another's life be made simpler. But do not say "I Love You!" to another. If you do, they have to carry the immense weight of your self-sacrifice. Do not crucify yourself only to fall on someone else's back. Do not make them your beasts of burden. Do not make them carry an entire universe upon their backs. Do not sacrifice what is wholly yours for someone else; that doesn't make you generous; instead it only makes a mule out of them. Say instead, "If I Love, What is That To You?" – My friends, Carry in yourself the gravity of Love. Thus you take the weight of expectations off their shoulders. The best of you are those that lighten another's burden. As it is said, none shall bear the burden of another. Our conclusion is in congruence with Divinity.


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